Sheepdoggerel Anthem

by Teifi Dog

To be sung to the tune of Tannenbaum or The Red Flag [same thing]

Chorus

Come rain and gales and whirling snow,

We’ve seen it all before and so

We raise a paw and swear that we

To farm and flock will faithful be.

1

In byres and yards across this land

You’ll find our multifarious band

Of collies who, though farmers scowl,

To pass the time this anthem yowl.

2

We may be muddy and unkempt,

And may have fleas and smell a bit,

We let folk in and then attempt

To bite their heels, we must admit.

3

But when the farmer whistles us

And duty calls, then with no fuss

We roll right through a five-bar gate

And all his needs anticipate.

4

We dip our tails, and crouch nearby

To hear, “Away!” or else “Come by!”

For we are clever, we’re so bright

We know our left paw from our right.

5

That gate-roll is a skill innate

No other breed can imitate;

While other dogs are thwarted quite

We’re up the mountain out of sight.

6

From puppyhood we know that we

Were born to fetch from slope and scree,

From pasture, meadow, mountains steep,

Those fascinating creatures — sheep.

7

Though some of us are less than brave

We teach those sheep how to behave,

We fix them with a glassy stare

And disobey they do not dare.

8

We yearn not for a life of ease

And only want the boss to please.

We’re kind to ewe’s with new-born lambs

And stand our ground ‘gainst bolshy rams.

9

The barn is cleared, it’s time to shear,

And men from neighbours’ farms are here.

We know today amidst turmoil

We shall not rest from farmyard toil.

10

We’ll work for hours and hours until

Every sheep is off the hill

Oh lanolin, oh lanolin,

The smell of sheep all gathered in.

11

No matter how they shout and curse

[And some of them do even worse],

Each farmer knows one truth of old:

A collie’s worth is more than gold

12

Though poodles sleep on satin beds

And we in barns and draughty sheds.

And when we die, in fields we lie

With grazing sheep above our heads.

Chorus

Come rain and gales and whirling snow,

We’ve seen it all before and so

We raise a paw and swear that we

To farm and flock will faithful be.

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